"A Double Standard"
A Poem by Frances Ellen Watkins Harper
About the Author
Frances Ellen Watkins Harper was an African American author, lecturer, and political activist, who was involved in promoting the abolition of slavery, civil rights, women’s rights, and temperance. She was born in 1825 in Baltimore, Maryland and was raised by her aunt and uncle. Harper’s uncle ensured that she received a good education and was a major influence on her views of civil rights. In 1851, she helped fugitive slaves escape through the Underground Railroad, and in 1854, she published her first collection of poems. She gained a lot of popularity through her poems, allowing her to travel across the country and encourage people to fight to free the slaves. Harper was the first African-American to have a short story published. “The Two Offers,” is written in narrative form but is a sermon in disguise. After the Civil War was over, Harper traveled through the South, advocating rights for the freed slaves and women’s suffrage. For the next thirty years, Harper wrote magazine articles, periodicals, poetry, and fiction that carried strong themes of forgiveness, racial pride, women’s rights, and God’s love. After her death in 1911, Harper’s work faded into the background, and the impact of her stories was quickly forgotten. Her work and dedication recieved the proper recognition in 1992, eighty-one years after her death. CJF
Relation to "Friendship and Relationships"
This poem gives the reader insight into a woman's mind as she realizes the man she loves has cheated on her. The poem shows the process of evaluation and questions that run through a person's mind when they realize they played a role in an unhealthy relationship. CJF
"A Double Standard"
Do you blame me that I loved him?
If when standing all alone
I cried for bread a careless world
Pressed to my lips a stone.
Do you blame me that I loved him,
That my heart beat glad and free,
When he told me in the sweetest tones
He loved but only me?
Can you blame me that I did not see
Beneath his burning kiss
The serpent's wiles, nor even hear
The deadly adder hiss?
Can you blame me that my heart grew cold
The tempted, tempter turned;
When he was feted and caressed
And I was coldly spurned?
Would you blame him, when you draw from me
Your dainty robes aside,
If he with gilded baits should claim
Your fairest as his bride?
Would you blame the world if it should press
On him a civic crown;
And see me struggling in the depth
Then harshly press me down?
Crime has no sex and yet today
I wear the brand of shame;
Whilst he amid the gay and proud
Still bears an honored name.
Can you blame me if I've learned to think
Your hate of vice a sham,
When you so coldly crushed me down
And then excused the man?
Would you blame me if to-morrow
The coroner should say,
A wretched girl, outcast, forlorn,
Has thrown her life away?
Yes, blame me for my downward course,
But oh! remember well,
Within your homes you press the hand
That led me down to hell.
I'm glad God's ways are not our ways
He does not see as man;
Within His love I know there's room
For those whom others ban.
I think before His great white throne,
His throne of spotless light,
That whited sepulchres shall wear
The hue of endless night.
That I who fell, and he who sinned,
Shall reap as we have sown;
That each the burden of his loss
Must bear and bear alone.
No golden weights can turn the scale
Of justice in His sight;
And what is wrong in woman's life
In man's cannot be right. CJF
If when standing all alone
I cried for bread a careless world
Pressed to my lips a stone.
Do you blame me that I loved him,
That my heart beat glad and free,
When he told me in the sweetest tones
He loved but only me?
Can you blame me that I did not see
Beneath his burning kiss
The serpent's wiles, nor even hear
The deadly adder hiss?
Can you blame me that my heart grew cold
The tempted, tempter turned;
When he was feted and caressed
And I was coldly spurned?
Would you blame him, when you draw from me
Your dainty robes aside,
If he with gilded baits should claim
Your fairest as his bride?
Would you blame the world if it should press
On him a civic crown;
And see me struggling in the depth
Then harshly press me down?
Crime has no sex and yet today
I wear the brand of shame;
Whilst he amid the gay and proud
Still bears an honored name.
Can you blame me if I've learned to think
Your hate of vice a sham,
When you so coldly crushed me down
And then excused the man?
Would you blame me if to-morrow
The coroner should say,
A wretched girl, outcast, forlorn,
Has thrown her life away?
Yes, blame me for my downward course,
But oh! remember well,
Within your homes you press the hand
That led me down to hell.
I'm glad God's ways are not our ways
He does not see as man;
Within His love I know there's room
For those whom others ban.
I think before His great white throne,
His throne of spotless light,
That whited sepulchres shall wear
The hue of endless night.
That I who fell, and he who sinned,
Shall reap as we have sown;
That each the burden of his loss
Must bear and bear alone.
No golden weights can turn the scale
Of justice in His sight;
And what is wrong in woman's life
In man's cannot be right. CJF
Discussion Questions and Activities
1. Discuss how women’s roles in society have changed over time. How would this poem change if it was written today?
2. What points of view are featured in this poem? How do they affect the message of this story? Have the students rewrite the poem from the man’s point of view, and share with a small group.
3. Discuss what happens to the woman after the poem. Do you think that she moved on and learned her lesson? Does she seek revenge or forgiveness?
4. Create the context of the poem; is she a maid, a slave, or an average citizen? Who is she addressing in the poem? CJF
2. What points of view are featured in this poem? How do they affect the message of this story? Have the students rewrite the poem from the man’s point of view, and share with a small group.
3. Discuss what happens to the woman after the poem. Do you think that she moved on and learned her lesson? Does she seek revenge or forgiveness?
4. Create the context of the poem; is she a maid, a slave, or an average citizen? Who is she addressing in the poem? CJF
Essay and Response Questions
1) Examine the line, “Crime has no sex and yet today/ I wear the brand/ of shame;/ Whilst he amid the gay and proud/ Still bears an honored name.” What is the author suggesting about the way society views women? Does this view still exist in society today? (Hint: Research women’s rights in 1895 to understand the context of the poem.)
2) Who is the real antagonist in the poem? The woman, the man, the people who “blame” her, or someone else? Use evidence from the poem to support your answer.
3) At the end of the poem, the woman admits that she shares the blame for entering into a relationship with the man. How does this help you answer the questions the woman asks in the way Harper formats her poem?
4) Examine how a person’s choice to ignore another person’s immoral character and still pursue the relationship sets them up for heart ache later when the person’s immorality starts to affect them. Does this idea explain why so many people get divorced?
5. Who is the woman addressing in the poem? What is the context of her situation? Use evidence from the text to support your claim, and talk about how the context you created affects the message of the poem. CJF
2) Who is the real antagonist in the poem? The woman, the man, the people who “blame” her, or someone else? Use evidence from the poem to support your answer.
3) At the end of the poem, the woman admits that she shares the blame for entering into a relationship with the man. How does this help you answer the questions the woman asks in the way Harper formats her poem?
4) Examine how a person’s choice to ignore another person’s immoral character and still pursue the relationship sets them up for heart ache later when the person’s immorality starts to affect them. Does this idea explain why so many people get divorced?
5. Who is the woman addressing in the poem? What is the context of her situation? Use evidence from the text to support your claim, and talk about how the context you created affects the message of the poem. CJF
Formatting by: RLS